#Ebook release with Blogchatter

Good news good news good news!

I am the pride owner of a brand new, fresh off the internet press Ebook! My very own…my own…my…precious.

It is a short story – don’t let the page count fool you; I was feeling extra so I reduced the page size – about rediscovering who you are and what it means to be happy. All this around the ever present sea.

To download for FREE click: Mayank – Suchita Agarwal

If my enthusiasm has moved you into downloading and further into actually reading, I’d love to know your thoughts and feedback.

Thank you!

Hadh ho gayi yaar

As children who paint their parents to be bigger monsters than they are, my friends spent their teenage years not confiding in them all the crushes and supposed boyfriends that they had. They didn’t want to confide for fear of drama, anger, revocation of freedom, etc. Don’t judge them yet, they had their reasons at the time.

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Why do I write?

Since the middle and the end of the A to Z Challenge, I have been seriously contemplating the question – why do I write? I know how I started writing. Heck I even wrote a post about my journey as a writer Lekhak ki yatra but why did I choose this profession? Why out of all the dreams my 18 year old self had, this is the one dream I am earnestly pursuing?

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I am (not) sorry

I am sorry I am not convenient

I am sorry I am not perfect

I am sorry everything I do gets on your nerves

I am sorry I am not the image you hold of me in your head

I am sorry for being a disappointment

I am sorry for being lazy, for struggling,

I am sorry for all my non-achievements.

But most importantly,

I am sorry for needing your approval

I am sorry for making you think you can achieve your goals through me

I am sorry you have a difficult life

I am sorry my idealism irritates you

I am sorry I don’t listen to you

I am sorry I hurt even when you try your hardest to protect me

I am sorry I go through identity crises, which you think are excuses

I am sorry you don’t understand

I am sorry our images of ‘who am I’ don’t match

And I am sorry but I have to find my own way, because or despite of you.

Zuski

Reference to Tangent: I knew what I wanted to do with the last post of the challenge but I didn’t know what to call it. So I opened a dictionary and started going through words with Z. I couldn’t find anything I liked and then randomly the word ‘zuski’ came into my head. I Googled it and this is what it said:

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Unguarded Moments

A balmy Bombay evening, two hot cups of tea, and Tiny and Huge are sitting in their pet places, at right angles to each other. He sits quietly, as Tiny chatters away, trying to coax him into saying something. Finally she asks wistfully, “Is there anything you regret?”

Huge rubs his chin thoughtfully. Tiny is almost convinced she won’t get a response. Then he casually says, looking at her, “I have yet to make a decision I regret.”

Huge goes back to his tea with a twinkle in his eye as Tiny dissolves into a puddle of mush.


Tiny is talking about her courtship with Huge to her two daughters. Every time she starts a sentence with ‘do you remember,’ Huge replies sheepishly with ‘I don’t remember that.’ This goes on for some time when Little One asks, “What do you remember dad?”

“All I remember is your mom wearing a blue saree. Not dark blue…it was a soft blue, like the sky, with silver lines. She was wearing a watch and silver bangles.”

Little One and Big One turn to look at Tiny who nods with a smile.

“Well at least he remembers something!”


Big One has just turned eighteen and there are suddenly talks of boyfriends and dating and romance, which makes Huge uncomfortable. She may be eighteen but for him, she is still his baby.

Once Tiny has given her discourse on love and romance to her daughter, Huge decides to contribute his two-bits on the subject.

He tells his daughter with all sincerity, “Wait for the ghanti.”

“Ghanti?”

“When you hear bells ringing that’s how you’ll know he’s the one.”

She looks at Huge curiously and asks, “Did you hear the ghanti?”

“Of course. Why do you think I only remember the saree and nothing else?”

Somebody that I used to know

Hello to my once upon a time best friend

Who is now just a number in my contact list

Do you feel the intensity when I stare at your name?

Do you miss me or do you pacify yourself

Remembering the fond memories we had?

Do you look at my name,

Now a statistic on your phone

And wish those simpler days would return

Where we used to need each other?

Was it just need or did we have a connection?

Was it just me or did you feel it too –

The warmth, the comfort, the love

Of conversations and wisdom shared?

 

Years have gone since those inseparable days

You have moved on and so have I

Now we meet each other in social gatherings

Pretending we are still best friends

We meet, we greet, we talk

But do you feel the chasm as I do?

And then in moments of weakness you say –

“You’re still the only friend I have”

But do you know how to be a friend?

How can you when you never learnt?

Who am I to blame you though

When I made a new cult and forgot

The “somebody” that I used to know?

Nalanda Nostalgia

In 2011, I found myself jobless and directionless after completing my graduation. I was so vella (useless) I even wrote a poem on my joblessness and directionless-ness. My mother, ever my saviour, at the time was teaching in a school and they desperately needed someone to teach the ninth grade C++. I was apparently the perfect candidate since I had not only learnt C++ in school; in a moment of utter lunacy I had also enrolled myself to this ‘training and developing’ institute’s industry program to earn a diploma in software engineering.

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